Welcome to the Quick & Revolting Detective's Crew!

This week on Episode #851

The Batch of the Unkempt Digestion

For the Head Detective's eyes only!

Give Them Direction

Monsters
The Bruised Mermaid of the Unkempt Digestion
microscopic sticky Zombie of Fatality
Unkempt Camel
Villain Motive
Destruction
Starting Event
The commander sends them to explore a location
Random Events
A Reindeer Is being tortured
A crow overflows
A Squirrel Protests
A nearby gas tank Is hurled at the adventurers
Local Business
Logan's Pair of Statues Supermarket
Harrison's Tapestry Supermarket
Yang's Taxidermy animal Worldwide
Francis's Hanging Birdcage Logistics

Populate the World

Criminal Contacts
Christopher "one elbows"
Harrison "cramped pastrami's"
Daniel "heavy falafels"
Daniel "Unkempt Digestion"
Random People
Richard Gibbs
Kylie Beck
Zachary Yang
Ivy Mills
Logan Joseph
Athena Francis
Theodore Campbell
Abraham White
Descriptions
Technician
Hairdresser
Police Officer
Professional Cuddler
Dentist

MISC Ideas

Magical Objects
Necklace of Fatality
Pants of Euphoria
Secret objects
Secret Pair of Statues
Taxidermy animal with a False bottom
Random objects
Hanging Birdcage
Cabinet
Loveseat
Portrait
Locations
Suburbs
Tower
Brewing Company
Barn Dance
Destinations
Town of Ivyfastmire
City of Alestorland

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).