Welcome to the Cerulean & Pernicious Detective's Authority!

This week on Episode #895

First Light With a Screeching Calligraphy Pen Presence

For the Head Detective's eyes only!

Give Them Direction

Monsters
The Strong Abominable Snowman of the Screeching Calligraphy Pen
petite huge Dolphin of Rage
Screeching Hedgehogs
Villain Motive
Persecution
Starting Event
The commander sends them to explore a location
Random Events
A Lactose Intolerance emerges
A Baker Crashes slowly
A Chicken Is frozen into a block of ice
A store Is being kidnapped
Local Business
Carlos's Diary Emporium
Anthony's Sink Technologies
Leon's Loveseat Threads
Walters's Fireplace Beauty Stop

Populate the World

Criminal Contacts
Anthony "small lungs"
Anthony "golden brains"
Jackie "small waffles"
Tiffany "Screeching Calligraphy Pen"
Random People
Tristan Simon
Ethan Hall
John Leon
Esther Mack
Carlos Young
Jude Walters
Elijah Butler
Claire Gibson
Descriptions
Funeral Director
Demon
Surveyor
Physician
Tailor

MISC Ideas

Magical Objects
Brass Knuckles of Rage
Chastity Belt of Disaster
Secret objects
Secret Diary
Loveseat with a False bottom
Random objects
Fireplace
Vanity
Candle
Staircase
Locations
Pond
Jungle
Mansion
Pond
Destinations
Town of Paigncons Creek
City of Brainrowridge

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).