Welcome to the Thoughtless & Contemporary Detective's League!

This week on Episode #351

The Army of the Boorish Church

For the Head Detective's eyes only!

Give Them Direction

Monsters
The Baked Dolphin of the Boorish Church
Giant drab Doppelganger of Euphoria
Boorish Gargoyle
Villain Motive
Conspiracy
Starting Event
Adventurer's are at a location already
Random Events
A Leopard is robbed
A Box of cigarette catches on fire
A Buccaneer meets disaster
A chunk of beef Bounces oddly
Local Business
Charles's Sculpture Online
Anthony's Lipstick Atelier
Barnes's Cutting board Bazaar
Rose's Barrel Worldwide

Populate the World

Criminal Contacts
Terry "bullet waffles"
Anthony "cramped fingers"
Timmy "black tongues"
oscar "Boorish Church"
Random People
Nova Romero
Jameson McDaniel
Alaina Barnes
Nolan Beck
Charles Hoffman
Bella Rose
Andrea Price
Valerie Burns
Descriptions
Physician
Blacksmith
Bounty hunter
Graphic Designer
Phantom

MISC Ideas

Magical Objects
Morning Star of Euphoria
Pants of Power
Secret objects
Secret Sculpture
Cutting board with a False bottom
Random objects
Barrel
Satchel
Easel
Cutting board
Locations
Forest
City
Villa
Forge
Destinations
Town of Rothlesridge
City of Bofordcum

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).