Welcome to the Stale & Late Detective's Department!

This week on Episode #872

hisssssss! It's the Embarrassed Luge of Calming

For the Head Detective's eyes only!

Give Them Direction

Monsters
The Cheap Bull of the Embarrassed Luge
Elder Scaley Owlman of Calming
Embarrassed Whale
Villain Motive
Save humanity
Starting Event
Everyone show's up with the same affliction
Random Events
A Carcass Glistens gently
A Deadbeat Adopts a nearby child
A Safe Gets their hand chopped off
A store Becomes wounded
Local Business
Isabelle's Metal chair Discount
Larry's Flower in Vase Solutions
Haynes's Bottle Five-and-a-dime
Schultz's Shelf of alcohol Supermarket

Populate the World

Criminal Contacts
Donald "chunky churros"
Larry "yellow spleens"
Chuckie "two kidneys"
Randy "Embarrassed Luge"
Random People
Lauren Allen
Olivia Castillo
Jaxson Haynes
Rhett Fletcher
Isabelle Barker
Nicholas Schultz
Mckenzie Wallace
Genesis Weaver
Descriptions
Bounty hunter
Chief Executive Officer
Exhausted
Dead Tired
Professional Bridesmaid

MISC Ideas

Magical Objects
Hatchet of Calming
Diary of Extinction
Secret objects
Secret Metal chair
Bottle with a False bottom
Random objects
Shelf of alcohol
Lounge Chair
Window
crutch
Locations
Park
World
Borough
Manor
Destinations
Town of Brosseerleychester
City of Blackhamstead

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).