Welcome to the Slimy & Ugliest Detective's Firm!

This week on Episode #463

The Chase of the Common Crib

For the Head Detective's eyes only!

Give Them Direction

Monsters
The obedient Minotaur of the Common Crib
petty crooked Wendigo of Redemption
Common Anteaters
Villain Motive
Revenge
Starting Event
Their horse breaks down on the way to Grandma's house
Random Events
A Tramp is being loudly arrested
A Cauldron Crashes slowly
A Spice box is loose
A chunk of beef Bursts loudly
Local Business
Ariel's Pipe Outlet
Joseph's Suit of armor Industries
Franklin's crutch Five-and-a-dime
Chandler's Clamp Warehouse

Populate the World

Criminal Contacts
Bobby "obese forearms"
Joseph "indigo falafels"
Jerry "dull cappuccinos"
Daniel "Common Crib"
Random People
Abraham Montgomery
Jose Miles
Jayce Franklin
Molly Gutierrez
Ariel Wade
Ryan Chandler
Jasper Williamson
August Perkins
Descriptions
Firefighter
Dead Tired
Teacher
Paramedic
Surgeon

MISC Ideas

Magical Objects
Soy Sauce Packet of Redemption
Longsword of Bitterness
Secret objects
Secret Pipe
crutch with a False bottom
Random objects
Clamp
File
Large book
Goblet
Locations
Jungle
Lake
Villa
Lodge
Destinations
Town of Biggderton
City of Telslescum

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).