Welcome to the Old & Rancid Detective's Commission!

This week on Episode #168

The Nutty Pilgrimmage of Ol' Tragic Clam

For the Head Detective's eyes only!

Give Them Direction

Monsters
The helpless Mutants of the Nutty Clam
minuscule repulsive Mutants of Happiness
Nutty Dragon
Villain Motive
Revenge
Starting Event
A secret in the agency is discovered
Random Events
A Cauldron Becomes wounded
A Spice box Integrates silently into the group
A Bum Becomes wounded
A Pickpocket Becomes wounded
Local Business
Molly's Trinket Mall
Juan's Crock Little shop
McCoy's Iron stove Emporium
Williams's Desk Specialities

Populate the World

Criminal Contacts
Jerry "green churros"
Juan "nice brains"
Jerry "white dumplings"
Al "Nutty Clam"
Random People
Amelia Flynn
Lily Hodges
Eloise McCoy
August Lomelin
Molly Campbell
Caleb Williams
Blake Salazar
Isaac Campbell
Descriptions
Librarian
Judge
The Body
Surveyor
Spirit

MISC Ideas

Magical Objects
Mace of Happiness
Bow of Peace
Secret objects
Secret Trinket
Iron stove with a False bottom
Random objects
Desk
Wingback chair
Portrait
Coat
Locations
Forge
Pond
Forge
Palace
Destinations
Town of Kenlinglington
City of Hawkchesterlin

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).