Welcome to the Squirrelly & Cooling Detective's League!

This week on Episode #786

Don't Guess with a Piercing of Fire

For the Head Detective's eyes only!

Give Them Direction

Monsters
The Sovereign Unicorn of the Freezing Piercing
huge broad Ogre of Fire
Freezing Gnome
Villain Motive
Conspiracy
Starting Event
Everyone show's up with the same affliction
Random Events
A Procession Crashes slowly
A horse carriage catches on fire
A Box of cigarette Calls menacingly
A Reindeer scurries by
Local Business
Presley's Pipe Worldwide
Johnny's Counter Online
Hanson's Metal chair Technologies
Thomas's Certificate & Sons

Populate the World

Criminal Contacts
Harold "golden arms"
Johnny "mini kidneys"
Billy "stiff toes"
Tony "Freezing Piercing"
Random People
Lyla Valdez
Daniel Mueller
Madelyn Hanson
Alejandro Spencer
Presley Harris
Alexander Thomas
Valerie West
Richard Carlson
Descriptions
Drummer
Acupuncturist
Architect
Flirty
Scientist

MISC Ideas

Magical Objects
Arrows of Fire
Pen of Amnesia
Secret objects
Secret Pipe
Metal chair with a False bottom
Random objects
Certificate
Trinket
Potted Plant
End Table
Locations
Pond
Acropolis
Villa
Peninsula
Destinations
Town of Honerleywich
City of Mosschesfolk

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).