Welcome to the Boiling & Salty Detective's Unit!

This week on Episode #636

First Light With a Slow Princess Bump In The Night

For the Head Detective's eyes only!

Give Them Direction

Monsters
The broad Yeti of the Slow Princess
Towering ancient Opossums of Joy
Slow Dragon
Villain Motive
Lust for power
Starting Event
The commander sends them to explore a location
Random Events
A Vegetable Skips merrily
A dozen eggs screams at the top of their lungs
A Spectator Strikes the church bell
A Chicken Finds gold in the water
Local Business
Owen's Rubber Plant Industries
Timmy's Drawers Worldwide
Hernandez's Cabinet Du jour
Rose's Urn Industries

Populate the World

Criminal Contacts
Larry "drowsy tongues"
Timmy "King hot Dogs"
Randy "black parmigianas"
Johnny "Slow Princess"
Random People
Adalynn Townsend
Angel Grant
Lucia Hernandez
Arabella Kramer
Owen Sanchez
Thomas Rose
Sofia Curtis
Evelyn Hoffman
Descriptions
Headhunter
Electrician
Surveyor
Frustrated
Physician

MISC Ideas

Magical Objects
Longsword of Joy
Key of Ice
Secret objects
Secret Rubber Plant
Cabinet with a False bottom
Random objects
Urn
Cabinet
Oil Lamp
Suit of armor
Locations
Peninsula
Creek
House
Maze
Destinations
Town of Seacum Falls
City of Hadchesterchester

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).