Welcome to the Salmon & Intransigent Detective's Guild!

This week on Episode #989

Who's Frightened of the Soaring Wet Nail?

For the Head Detective's eyes only!

Give Them Direction

Monsters
The powerful Manticore of the Wet Nail
Soaring panicky Porpoises of Fire
Wet Merfolk
Villain Motive
Betrayal
Starting Event
Someone comes into threatening the agency
Random Events
A gypsy catches on fire
A dead animal Evades the law
A crow Bounces oddly
A Transport chase a suspect
Local Business
Mya's Suit of armor Partners
Crystal's Statue Unlimited
Fischer's Bed Threads
Evans's Pair of Statues Collective

Populate the World

Criminal Contacts
Christopher "no bagels"
Crystal "black hands"
Harrison "drowsy lemons"
Jose "Wet Nail"
Random People
Miguel Norris
Lillian Hart
Micah Fischer
Cameron Mills
Mya Fleming
Jackson Evans
Caroline Barnes
Mia Mendez
Descriptions
Counselor
Zestful
Funeral Director
Weakened
Secretary

MISC Ideas

Magical Objects
Magazine of Fire
Trident of Perspiration
Secret objects
Secret Suit of armor
Bed with a False bottom
Random objects
Pair of Statues
Cabinet
Urn
Fire poker set
Locations
Island
Fort
Villa
Creek
Destinations
Town of Uppinglesside
City of Anhamville

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).