Welcome to the Damp & Scruffy Detective's Association!

This week on Episode #918

Who's Afraid of the narrow Unsightly Earrings?

For the Head Detective's eyes only!

Give Them Direction

Monsters
The dusty Pheonix of the Unsightly Earrings
narrow White giant of Freshness
Unsightly giant
Villain Motive
Leave me in peace
Starting Event
The commander sends them to explore a location
Random Events
A Bag of lemons Is throwing a protest
A Jug of peanut butter Strikes the church bell
A Gallon of trash Catches leprosy
A gunshot Calls menacingly
Local Business
Rose's Platter & Co.
Darnell's Kitchen table Beauty Stop
Gomez's Hanging Birdcage Market
Rice's Notebook Outlet

Populate the World

Criminal Contacts
Harrison "The livers"
Darnell "four elbows"
oscar "casual matzo balls"
Donald "Unsightly Earrings"
Random People
Lucy Jackson
Abraham Barnett
Jayce Gomez
Isaac Quinn
Rose Hayes
Easton Rice
Liliana Meyer
Hayden Yang
Descriptions
Master Distiller
Hotel Manager
Phantom
Counselor
Funeral Director

MISC Ideas

Magical Objects
Rock of Freshness
Polearm of Purity
Secret objects
Secret Platter
Hanging Birdcage with a False bottom
Random objects
Notebook
End Table
Mantle
Stairwell
Locations
Borough
Fortress
Sanctuary
Forge
Destinations
Town of Padcum Falls
City of Worthpatmire

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).