Welcome to the Massive & Chilly Detective's League!

This week on Episode #476

Breakfast Time With a Hyper Computer Illusion

For the Head Detective's eyes only!

Give Them Direction

Monsters
The shallow mammoth of the Hyper Computer
microscopic Mastadonic Unicorn of Freshness
Hyper Mermaid
Villain Motive
Rule the world
Starting Event
Their horse breaks down on the way to Grandma's house
Random Events
A Vegetable Balances on a ledge
A Herd of chicken Bounces oddly
A bank Strikes the church bell
A princess chase a suspect
Local Business
Kingston's Fire poker set Properties
Randy's Picture Frame Closet
Norris's Iron stove Chic Chåteau
Gonzales's Pedestal Outlet

Populate the World

Criminal Contacts
Jimmy "big feet"
Randy "fat knuckles"
Daniel "junior dumplings"
Prince "Hyper Computer"
Random People
Peyton Pena
Declan Douglas
Greyson Norris
Nicholas Perry
Kingston Carter
Josiah Gonzales
Kevin Coleman
Genevieve Carter
Descriptions
Intoxicated
Art Therapist
Bounty hunter
Zestful
Scientist

MISC Ideas

Magical Objects
Hatchet of Freshness
Brass Knuckles of Calming
Secret objects
Secret Fire poker set
Iron stove with a False bottom
Random objects
Pedestal
Shoe Horn
Shirt
Figurine
Locations
House
Fortress
Reef
Pond
Destinations
Town of Cockmelstead
City of Lodbyside

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).