Welcome to the Zealous & Silly Detective's Commission!

This week on Episode #324

The Situation of the Petite Phone

For the Head Detective's eyes only!

Give Them Direction

Monsters
The Hot Orcs of the Petite Phone
Adult melodic Siren of Well-being
Petite Humanoid
Villain Motive
Control the Children
Starting Event
Their horse breaks down on the way to Grandma's house
Random Events
A German trench club Spontaneously disintegrates
A Panhandler Is hurled at the adventurers
A Lactose Intolerance strikes the ground
A Buccaneer Is being kidnapped
Local Business
Abraham's Ceramic Crock Du jour
Roberto's Notebook Discount
Hamilton's Butter Churner LTD.
Todd's Mantle Couture

Populate the World

Criminal Contacts
Bobby "fat cheesecakes"
Roberto "black churros"
Christopher "wild hands"
Chuckie "Petite Phone"
Random People
Paige Hanson
Mattie Ortega
Jaxon Hamilton
Dean Armstrong
Abraham Clark
Ashton Todd
Grace Sharp
Samantha Schmidt
Descriptions
Phantom
Flirty
Master Distiller
Dietitian
Bounty hunter

MISC Ideas

Magical Objects
Handcuffs of Well-being
Credit Card of Cleanliness
Secret objects
Secret Ceramic Crock
Butter Churner with a False bottom
Random objects
Mantle
Butter Churner
Pair of Statues
Trophy
Locations
Villa
Festival
Spring
Zone
Destinations
Town of Warcumville
City of Candeshire

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).