Welcome to the Grumpy & Helpless Detective's Union!

This week on Episode #287

The High Dilemma of Ol' Derogatory Battery

For the Head Detective's eyes only!

Give Them Direction

Monsters
The Constipated Gnome of the High Battery
microscopic gifted Koalas of Violence
High Abominable Snowman
Villain Motive
Rivalry
Starting Event
Something mysterious happens outside
Random Events
A German trench club Is being detained
A Squirrel Salutes the adventures
A Soup gathers near a point of interest
A Transport gathers near a point of interest
Local Business
Juliana's Key Bazaar
Tiffany's Cabinet Arcade
Marsh's Coat Worldwide
Perry's Paperweight Emporium

Populate the World

Criminal Contacts
Jose "indigo lemons"
Tiffany "big knuckles"
jessica "orange ankles"
ralphie "High Battery"
Random People
Jameson Daniel
Trinity Malone
Sophia Marsh
Madison Harper
Juliana Brown
Adeline Perry
Liliana Anthony
Fiona Holt
Descriptions
Annoyed
Lawyer
Optimistic
Sad
Surveyor

MISC Ideas

Magical Objects
Targe of Violence
Bangle of Destruction
Secret objects
Secret Key
Coat with a False bottom
Random objects
Paperweight
Cutting board
Paperweight
crutch
Locations
World
Palace
Festival
Shelter
Destinations
Town of Vinconsstead
City of Featherde Creek

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).