Welcome to the Fierce & Dire Detective's Department!

This week on Episode #584

Fracas in the Old Crime

For the Head Detective's eyes only!

Give Them Direction

Monsters
The Dubious Golem of the Old Crime
narrow Enlightened Leprechaun of Optimism
Old Alien
Villain Motive
Grief and loss
Starting Event
The commander sends them to explore a location
Random Events
A Midwife is heard screaming
A crow Spontaneously disintegrates
A Rhapsody Is throwing a BBQ
A Cookie is robbed
Local Business
Daisy's Window Hole
Joseph's Oil Lamp Beauty Stop
Goodman's Sofa Arcade
Ingram's Coat Mall

Populate the World

Criminal Contacts
Frankie "all matzo balls"
Joseph "violet ankles"
Chuckie "five heels"
Nicky "Old Crime"
Random People
Ariel McCarthy
Julianna Solis
Evelyn Goodman
Ayden Mack
Daisy Zimmerman
Cole Ingram
Ryder Simpson
Tristan Perez
Descriptions
Townsfolk
Meteorologist
Statistician
Demon
Athlete

MISC Ideas

Magical Objects
Shield of Optimism
Whip of Contentment
Secret objects
Secret Window
Sofa with a False bottom
Random objects
Coat
Chair
Spare brick
Lounge Chair
Locations
Carousal
Forest
Zone
City
Destinations
Town of Shilold kingdom
City of Keigholdridge

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).