Welcome to the Bewildered & Holy Detective's Incorporated!

This week on Episode #971

Don't Shank with a Vessel of Euthanasia

For the Head Detective's eyes only!

Give Them Direction

The Portly child of the Rough Vessel
scanty Worn Kaiju of Euthanasia
Rough Siren
Villain Motive
Starting Event
Adventurer's witness something weird happening
Random Events
A Diary screams at the top of their lungs
A Prostitute is being loudly arrested
A Donkey Glistens gently
A German trench club Is being detained
Local Business
Noah's Mural Discount
Johnny's Trophy Partners
Frazier's Stamp Set Solutions
McCormick's Wardrobe Du jour

Populate the World

Criminal Contacts
Frankie "bullet legs"
Johnny "fast dumplings"
Randy "bullet elbows"
Frankie "Rough Vessel"
Random People
Athena Gutierrez
Waylon Chan
Sydney Frazier
Sophie Maruska
Noah Williamson
Kevin McCormick
Julianna Bowers
Jasmine Dunn
Master Distiller

MISC Ideas

Magical Objects
Bangle of Euthanasia
Rapier of Obsession
Secret objects
Secret Mural
Stamp Set with a False bottom
Random objects
Spare brick
Hanging Birdcage
Town of Hounoldside
City of Arhamlin

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.


90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.


This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.


No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).