Welcome to the Efficacious & Thoughtless Detective's Guild!

This week on Episode #539

Before Noon With a Ugly Dartboard Bump In The Night

For the Head Detective's eyes only!

Give Them Direction

Monsters
The Municipal Hedgehogs of the Ugly Dartboard
minuscule rainy Gnome of Ice
Ugly Dolphin
Villain Motive
Control the Children
Starting Event
Adventurer's are at a location already
Random Events
A Lactose Intolerance drops from the sky
A princess Is frozen into a block of ice
A Vagrant Is throwing a protest
A gypsy approaches
Local Business
Lucia's Fire poker set Du jour
Joseph's Key Wardrobe
Howell's Goblet Discount
Long's Clamp Factory

Populate the World

Criminal Contacts
Charles "obese eyes"
Joseph "heavy spleens"
Tiffany "mad elbows"
ralphie "Ugly Dartboard"
Random People
Guy Garner
Valerie Rowe
Emilia Howell
Aurora Cummings
Lucia Gross
Blake Long
Anna Sullivan
Charlotte Guerrero
Descriptions
Farmer
Animator
Weakened
Pharmacist
Waiter

MISC Ideas

Magical Objects
Sticks of Ice
Greaves of Freshness
Secret objects
Secret Fire poker set
Goblet with a False bottom
Random objects
Clamp
Oil Lamp
Toolbox
Musical instrument
Locations
Citadel
Palace
Circus
Spring
Destinations
Town of Sanconsstead
City of Nunconslin

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).