Welcome to the Calm & Rancid Detective's Sorority!

This week on Episode #886

The Sixty-four-thousand-dollar Question of the Strungout Postoffice

For the Head Detective's eyes only!

Give Them Direction

Monsters
The Avian Koalas of the Strungout Postoffice
limited Municipal Ogre of Destiny
Strungout Rhinoceroses
Villain Motive
Serve a master
Starting Event
A secret in the agency is discovered
Random Events
A drunk Is getting confiscated
A Bum runs over an infant
A Whore Is getting confiscated
A sewer drops from the sky
Local Business
Elise's Window Mall
Darnell's Lamp Atelier
Richards's Crock Systems
Mclaughlin's Fruit Bowl Factory

Populate the World

Criminal Contacts
Tony "five spleens"
Darnell "short pastrami's"
Donald "right feet"
Larry "Strungout Postoffice"
Random People
Kai Hamilton
Samantha Juarez
Nevaeh Richards
Cameron Jacobs
Elise Campbell
Silas Mclaughlin
Ezekiel Kelly
Natalie Schwartz
Descriptions
Pharmacist
Elder
Chef
Farmer
Headhunter

MISC Ideas

Magical Objects
Spikes of Destiny
Morning Star of Dark
Secret objects
Secret Window
Crock with a False bottom
Random objects
Fruit Bowl
Wardrobe
Tapestry
Clamp
Locations
Barn Dance
Keep
Maze
Park
Destinations
Town of Eallesville
City of Wickminhaven

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).