Welcome to the Tart & Cold Detective's Crew!

This week on Episode #634

Bonk! It's the Quiet Snake of Fury

For the Head Detective's eyes only!

Give Them Direction

Monsters
The Prehensile Sea Lion of the Quiet Snake
hefty Hot Beast of Fury
Quiet Hobgoblin
Villain Motive
Dishonor
Starting Event
Someone is already inside the agency
Random Events
A Renaissance faire Ignites violently
A Safe gathers near a point of interest
A beggar catches on fire
A Tramp arrives in the mail
Local Business
Gabriel's Flowers Growing Technologies
Christopher's Trunk Worldwide
Webb's Cabinet Technologies
Obrien's Pan Couture

Populate the World

Criminal Contacts
Timmy "drowsy heels"
Christopher "little waffles"
Jackie "gross bagels"
jessica "Quiet Snake"
Random People
Ariana Wise
Silas Oconnor
Micah Webb
Mattie Mitchell
Gabriel Ryan
Grace Obrien
Jude Duncan
Riley West
Descriptions
Annoyed
Police Officer
Old Timer
Geologist
Surgeon

MISC Ideas

Magical Objects
Shield of Fury
Lance of Casualties
Secret objects
Secret Flowers Growing
Cabinet with a False bottom
Random objects
Pan
Figurine
Footlocker
crutch
Locations
Festival
Circus
Carousal
Area
Destinations
Town of Romcummire
City of Richtrinton

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).