Welcome to the Tasty & Warm Detective's Union!

This week on Episode #615

The Conundrum of the Dilligent Pastry

For the Head Detective's eyes only!

Give Them Direction

Monsters
The Bankrupt Kaiju of the Dilligent Pastry
minuscule Cold Banshee of Extermination
Dilligent Siren
Villain Motive
Leave me in peace
Starting Event
Adventurer's witness something weird happening
Random Events
A gypsy is heard screaming
A Odor scurries by
A Gallon of trash drops from the sky
A Amulet meets disaster
Local Business
Aurora's Lamp Discount
Jackie's Canopy Bed Consulting
Chen's Ring Bazaar
Curtis's Bed Unlimited

Populate the World

Criminal Contacts
Jerry "obese matzo balls"
Jackie "orange falafels"
Timmy "mini legs"
Joseph "Dilligent Pastry"
Random People
Zoe Thornton
Evan Thompson
Zayden Chen
Waylon Conner
Aurora Marquez
Jacob Curtis
Sadie Thomas
Eva Cole
Descriptions
Journalist
Dead Tired
Animator
Cheerful
Railroad Conductor

MISC Ideas

Magical Objects
Nipple Clamp of Extermination
Greaves of Well-being
Secret objects
Secret Lamp
Ring with a False bottom
Random objects
Bed
Diary
Sculpture
Armoir
Locations
Forge
Carousal
Borough
Tower
Destinations
Town of Warlesland
City of Bursumbermire

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).