Welcome to the Crashing & Fat Detective's Unit!

This week on Episode #737

Don't Rhyme with a Library of Fragility

For the Head Detective's eyes only!

Give Them Direction

Monsters
The repulsive Hobgoblin of the Early Library
bantam Dire Turtle of Fragility
Early Humanoid
Villain Motive
Rule the world
Starting Event
The Adventurer's are taken somewhere against their will
Random Events
A Squirrel Glistens gently
A beggar Crashes slowly
A Amulet runs over an infant
A Cat Is accused by the law
Local Business
Eliana's Sink Properties
Chuckie's Flower in Vase Outlet
Gagnon's Oil Lamp Consulting
Castillo's Armoir Couture

Populate the World

Criminal Contacts
Billy "cramped scars"
Chuckie "big falafels"
Jerry "green parmigianas"
Darnell "Early Library"
Random People
Amir Barrett
Patrick McCoy
Penelope Gagnon
Amy French
Eliana Olson
Sawyer Castillo
William Gagnon
Mariah Clarke
Descriptions
Blacksmith
Professional Bridesmaid
Indifferent
Mechanic
Geologist

MISC Ideas

Magical Objects
Cat of Fragility
Blowgun of Power
Secret objects
Secret Sink
Oil Lamp with a False bottom
Random objects
Armoir
Lounge Chair
Window
Wingback chair
Locations
Stronghold
Brewing Company
Citadel
Maze
Destinations
Town of Raydechester
City of Plycum Creek

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).