Welcome to the Wooden & Meaty Detective's Alliance!

This week on Episode #871

Furor in the Bloody Church

For the Head Detective's eyes only!

Give Them Direction

Monsters
The fluffy Doppelganger of the Bloody Church
little Irrelevant Rabbit of Grave Consequences
Bloody Rhinoceroses
Villain Motive
Desperation
Starting Event
Adventurer's witness something weird happening
Random Events
A Hound Bursts loudly
A dead animal Spontaneously disintegrates
A crowd Is frozen into a block of ice
A crowd is heard screaming
Local Business
Gabriel's Desk Boutique
Chuckie's Tea Set Beauty Stop
Hayes's Chaise Warehouse
Park's Statue Convenience store

Populate the World

Criminal Contacts
Prince "small lemons"
Chuckie "bullet hands"
Prince "dull cappuccinos"
Larry "Bloody Church"
Random People
Andrea Harmon
Zachary Davis
Messiah Hayes
Messiah McDonald
Gabriel Young
Kevin Park
Jasper Perez
Guy Szmit
Descriptions
Headhunter
Butcher
Engineer
Human Statue
Ghost

MISC Ideas

Magical Objects
Mace of Grave Consequences
Pen of Euphoria
Secret objects
Secret Desk
Chaise with a False bottom
Random objects
Statue
Globe
Letter Opener
Goblet
Locations
Villa
Castle
Sanctuary
Lake
Destinations
Town of Actbyridge
City of Bidderhaven

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).