Welcome to the Refined & Angry Detective's Guild!

This week on Episode #970

The Sixty-four-thousand-dollar Question of the Fugly Equipment

For the Head Detective's eyes only!

Give Them Direction

Monsters
The adorable Gnome of the Fugly Equipment
minuscule Obtuse potato of Skill
Fugly Troll
Villain Motive
To achieve their Destiny
Starting Event
A secret in the agency is discovered
Random Events
A Biscuit gathers near a point of interest
A princess drops from the sky
A Hound Lunges at the group
A Ninja Skips merrily
Local Business
Calvin's Pair of Statues Couture
Al's Mirror International
Salinas's Ceramic Crock Technologies
Cross's Fruit Bowl Ventures

Populate the World

Criminal Contacts
jessica "silver cappuccinos"
Al "white fingers"
Jerry "casual livers"
Randy "Fugly Equipment"
Random People
Taylor Morrison
Elijah Sanders
Jayce Salinas
Alexa Pierce
Calvin Mclaughlin
Samantha Cross
Preston Sims
Nicole Arnold
Descriptions
Consultant
Pharmacist
Cranky
Waiter
Professional Cuddler

MISC Ideas

Magical Objects
Falchion of Skill
Scimitar of Doom
Secret objects
Secret Pair of Statues
Ceramic Crock with a False bottom
Random objects
Fruit Bowl
Ring
Shelf of alcohol
Hanging Birdcage
Locations
Reef
Lake
Carnival
Lagoon
Destinations
Town of Perkenhaven
City of Skegles Springs

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).