Welcome to the Gorgeous & Hirsute Detective's Union!

This week on Episode #110

Nurp! It's the Wither Trade of Virtue

For the Head Detective's eyes only!

Give Them Direction

The raspy Succubus of the Wither Trade
cramped Sturdy all-seeing eye of Virtue
Wither Demon
Villain Motive
Starting Event
Someone comes into the agency looking for help
Random Events
A Transport emerges
A Toilet chase a suspect
A Druid catches on fire
A Vegetable Is accused by the law
Local Business
Amelia's Sconce Warehouse
Jerry's Picture Frame Bureau
Maldonado's Desk Warehouse
Schneider's Plaster Bust Warehouse

Populate the World

Criminal Contacts
Jose "heavy Pretzels"
Jerry "fast throats"
Al "sharp knuckles"
Donald "Wither Trade"
Random People
Jesus Ruiz
Lucas Sandoval
James Maldonado
Patrick Fitzgerald
Amelia Sandoval
Maverick Schneider
Tucker Price
Ariel Lang
Dog surfing instructor

MISC Ideas

Magical Objects
Cat of Virtue
Watch of Stealth
Secret objects
Secret Sconce
Desk with a False bottom
Random objects
Plaster Bust
Faberge Egg
Town of Bexlinglin
City of Abingminlington

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.


90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.


This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.


No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).