Welcome to the Irksome & Scarce Detective's Board!

This week on Episode #119

Sundown With a Hirsute Crack Visitor

For the Head Detective's eyes only!

Give Them Direction

Monsters
The petite Mutants of the Hirsute Crack
full damaged Succubus of Delight
Hirsute Owlman
Villain Motive
Grief and loss
Starting Event
Someone comes into the agency looking for help
Random Events
A Prostitute Finds gold in the water
A Prostitute Catches leprosy
A Donkey chase a suspect
A bear Adopts a nearby child
Local Business
Paisley's Wingback chair & Co.
Chuckie's Fireplace Worldwide
Beck's Loveseat International
McCarthy's Sconce Five-and-a-dime

Populate the World

Criminal Contacts
Juan "orange scars"
Chuckie "big falafels"
Harrison "wild lungs"
Billy "Hirsute Crack"
Random People
Londyn Newman
Jackson Nichols
Madison Beck
Luca Brooks
Paisley Walker
Lilly McCarthy
Liam Paul
Andrew Fisher
Descriptions
Elevator Mechanic
Restless
Frazzled
Accountant
Butcher

MISC Ideas

Magical Objects
Gauntlet of Delight
Javelins of Influence
Secret objects
Secret Wingback chair
Loveseat with a False bottom
Random objects
Sconce
Counter
Goblet
Skeletal Animal
Locations
Undead
Barn Dance
Villa
Villa
Destinations
Town of Vencumwick
City of Chiloldwick

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).