Welcome to the Irrelevant & Luminous Detective's Union!

This week on Episode #374

Don't Panic with a Bra of The Blackest Black

For the Head Detective's eyes only!

Give Them Direction

Monsters
The clumsy Gnome of the Slimy Bra
puny gifted Sprite of The Blackest Black
Slimy Giraffe
Villain Motive
Betrayal
Starting Event
A secret in the agency is discovered
Random Events
A Skeleton scurries by
A Gallon of trash runs over an infant
A Druid Is getting confiscated
A Spice box overflows
Local Business
Richard's Ring Outlet
ralphie's Picture Frame Online
Freeman's Cabinet Partners
Francis's Butter Churner Chic Chåteau

Populate the World

Criminal Contacts
Johnny "obese waffles"
ralphie "yellow pastrami's"
Christopher "no hot Dogs"
Charles "Slimy Bra"
Random People
Emmett Washington
Angel Christensen
Charlotte Freeman
Brantley Robinson
Richard Gregory
Emma Francis
Skylar Park
Valeria McCarthy
Descriptions
Blacksmith
Teacher
Ghost
Dead Tired
Waiter

MISC Ideas

Magical Objects
Bow of The Blackest Black
Frying Pan of Freshness
Secret objects
Secret Ring
Cabinet with a False bottom
Random objects
Butter Churner
Grandfather Clock
Cabinet
Shelf of alcohol
Locations
Business
Arcade
Stronghold
Palace
Destinations
Town of Clarcons Springs
City of Banfastton

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).