Welcome to the Salmon & Slimy Detective's Order!

This week on Episode #350

Breakfast Time With a Pre-Pubescent Clam Fright

For the Head Detective's eyes only!

Give Them Direction

Monsters
The Sinful Pixie of the Pre-Pubescent Clam
immense Weak Vampires of Bravery
Pre-Pubescent Gnome
Villain Motive
To better Humanity
Starting Event
Charity Day!!!!!
Random Events
A building Salutes the adventures
A crowd emerges
A Reindeer runs over an infant
A Demon skins a cat with his teeth
Local Business
Calvin's Pocket watch International
Terry's Goblet R Us
Hubbard's Toolset Group
Tyler's Figurine Partners

Populate the World

Criminal Contacts
Christopher "obese pinky's"
Terry "sharp cheesecakes"
Johnny "plump boy"
Roberto "Pre-Pubescent Clam"
Random People
Weston Sanchez
Maxwell Fowler
Lilly Hubbard
Charlie Le
Calvin Simon
Raelynn Tyler
Ezra Wolfe
Quinn Fisher
Descriptions
Weakened
Cheerful
Drummer
Consultant
Professional Cuddler

MISC Ideas

Magical Objects
Lipstick of Bravery
Camera of Ruin
Secret objects
Secret Pocket watch
Toolset with a False bottom
Random objects
Figurine
Credenza
Ring
Telescope
Locations
Chateau
Shelter
Maze
Sanctuary
Destinations
Town of Irthpatton
City of Axmel Creek

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).